Celebration and Concern – Obtaining jobs, But Not a Job

I have been remiss in my duty to log my search and progress these last couple of weeks.  I acquired not one, but 2 new jobs and have been swamped by new schedules and double training.  Cause for both celebration and concern, my new jobs will relieve a bit of the financial starvation I have been feeling, but not my hunger for true satisfaction, fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment or adequacy, let alone success.

I am grateful for the jobs, incredibly grateful, however I can’t shake the concern that they are simply additional notches on my “jobhopper” belt in the eyes of future potential hiring managers. Though I am told one looks more desirable to employers when one is already employed, I can’t help but wonder at the truth of that when the current jobs are “fillers.”  The positions in which I am working are low-level, low-skill, and low responsibility and I do not feel they support my credibility as candidate for excellence in a demanding career.  Not only that, but I am forced to hold two such jobs to feed my landlord and my light bill (nevermind myself!).  So I am up to 28 jobs now, looking less stable than ever.

Therefore I am both happy and disheartened by these new developments.  I know that I need to focus carefully on the happy feelings and hold myself firm against the frustrations because I am walking the edge above a slippery slope of negativity – the despair, however illogical, of feeling defeated, of feeling that this, THIS!, is all I can achieve.  I know that’s not true, I know that I will, eventually, find my Job. I have to keep believing that.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s