An hour later I had composed a slightly less frenetic email to Kelly, with the help and sanity of Elissa.
Great to hear from you and thank you for considering me for your trip, I’m really excited about the opportunity.
Getting to know each other is obviously a smart plan and I think will be fun as well. Feel free to check out my LinkedIn post and my blogs, as I don’t have facebook, to confirm what I tell you by email, etc.
To start with, I am 35 and have spent half of that lifetime living both small and large adventures in my search for a life and place to call “home.” I have no children or pets and only own a fairly nomadic collection of stuff so it is easy for me to pick up and go when a new opportunity in life presents itself. I have always wanted to learn to sail, so no, I don’t know how to do that, but I can drive a power boat, and a canoe, quite comfortably so no qualms about a boating lifestyle in the physical sense. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to sail off to the Caribbean “Jimmy Buffett style,” as you said in your post, and experience the beauty and culture from a perspective no classic tourist package can offer. Personally, my friends call me funny and brave, but kind and easy going. I’m pretty mellow, but creative with my downtime too. I’m a pretty good cook and enjoy eating healthy, but never pass up an opportunity for something interesting and delicious. It’s part of why I like travel so much, I adore food. I like to keep my space clean and organized, but I don’t obsess. I am not a princess and have traveled by myself quite a bit, so am aware of the risks and necessities of being a female traveler. I won’t get you in any trouble and you won’t need to worry about me. I can’t really think of anything else right now that might be helpful, but you are of course welcome to ask me any questions you like.
I am free after about 7 each evening so we could set up a video chat time whenever works for you. I am really looking forward to meeting you!
I clicked send and finally let out my breath. My internal rollercoaster was going at full speed climbing the hills of elation about finally going on the trip I’ve always dreamed of, to the sharp, belly twisting drops of nervousness reminding myself I wasn’t going yet, he hadn’t actually said I could go. I wanted to cry thinking he would change his mind, then I tried to boost my morale by reminding myself he didn’t have to respond to me at all, so I could probably go ahead and get excited. Next thing I knew, I found myself in my closet pulling out my travel bag and had to talk myself out of packing. I should at least wait until after the video chat, right? Right, that would be sensible. Ugh, I was a wreck, I had to do something. At this rate I would never sleep and then I would look like crap and then he would want to video chat and then he would decide a zombie was not an appropriate sailing companion… OK deep breath, had to find a coping skill.
Reading is usually my escape, I can devour a book in just one or two nights, especially when I am having any emotional upheaval in my life. But on occasions where my brain is just way too worked up, I find myself reading pages and pages and never absorbing one word of it. Going for a walk wouldn’t solve anything, I would still just think in circles till I vomited from the mental dizziness. Finally, with a sigh and a smile, I had it. Yes! I would settle myself in to my most recent addiction/safety blanket, a Netflix “Chopped” marathon. I seriously love that show. Can’t get enough.
I threw on my ever-comforting, over-sized chef pants and a tank top, poured myself another glass of wine (since the last one went to appease the tile gods), and settled in to bed with my laptop. My brain simply couldn’t worry about Kelly and the sailing adventure while I was dealing with the pressure of 3 timed rounds, intense judges, and baskets of insane cooking ingredients. Thank you Food Network, for being my mute button on life.